Tag Archives: Draw Something

Draw Something: the new addiction making tits of us all

26 Mar

Tell me I’m not alone here. It’s literally getting to the point now, where I’ll have reached the end of my Draw Something to-do-list and I’ll break out into a mild sweat; a tiny panic that THERE’S NO ONE LEFT TO F***ING DRAW FOR!!! WHO THE HELL AM I GONNA DRAW FOR NOW?? And then, (phew, thank God!) as if by magic, another friend on Facebook joins the scribbling circle and everything’s OK again.

My iPhone battery lasts on average three hours less than it used to, before I discovered this game (scientifically proven by myself).

Draw Something is addictive. I think they’ve put something into the programming, you know, the way they put something into McDonald’s cheeseburgers? I can’t think why else we’re all so hooked. I mean, I know some pretty awesome people. I know movie makers, make up artists, doctors, nurses, marketers, bankers, business owners, PR gurus, writers, publishers, photographers, radio presenters… but let me ask you this. Give em an iPhone and the ability to draw with their finger and can they do it? Can they FUCK. Everyone is making a tool of themselves, every day, because of this game. Including me.

Let’s take a look at this round for example. Here, I am attempting to draw a BUNKBED, which I think you’ll agree isn’t half bad.

My friend will probably guess that this is a BUNKBED. I’ll get some coins and wahey, I’ll feel great. I’ll feel like someone’s given me a real gold medal, a pat on the back. Someone could steal my parking space, spill red wine on my white shirt… hell, a gecko could even shit on my head but it would all be fine because hey, my friend will have guessed I drew a BUNKBED. Very soon, I will be WINNING.

So I get cocky. I think, fuck yeah, if I can draw a successful BUNK BED, I can draw anything. I can draw a PALACE. And then this happens.

Hang on a minute. That’s not how it looked in my head when my finger started working. That doesn’t look like a PALACE at all. It looks like a ghost wearing some yellow oven mitts, floating over a swamp. She’ll never guess that’s a PALACE. What was I thinking, believing I could earn three coins just like that? Idiot.

So the next time, I opt for something simpler. I choose to draw a CAPTAIN. Because how could that go wrong? You just draw a man in a hat and neck thingy, right? How hard can that be?

Well, very hard, actually.

 My CAPTAIN will never be guessed because he looks like a retarded boy scout. That’s a boat underneath him, on some water, but it’s so out of proportion he’d be the size of a skyscraper in real life. A retarded mutant boy scout skyscraper. Great. And my AIRBAG is not much better.

My AIRBAG looks quite stunning in my head. Like something from a Mercedes manual. I think I’ll draw an elaborate Mercedes car crash scene with some whizzing motion streaks shooting from the shattering glass windscreen… perhaps a body rocketing out of one window onto some grass and a weeping child on the side of the road. Yessssss. WINNING.

But no. NO. I can’t even draw proportionate wheels. And what’s a car without working wheels? Useless. About as useless as my AIRBAG, which looks like a three-year-old’s misshapen impression of the sun, drawn out of boredom and a total disrespect for keeping within the lines of a children’s colouring book.

I hate myself after these failed attempts. I feel like a loser. And yet, even now as I write, I’m wondering if my friend has managed to guess my drawing of the JOKER yet. I drew a round head with a mono fat lip and green hair next to a misshapen flying black object.

I’m sure those winning coins will be mine in minutes…

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