Tag Archives: dating

The Great Speed Dating Experiment: Part 2

12 May

“Do you bank with us?”

“I’m sorry?”

The half-Chinese, half-Australian bloke opposite me, who had just sat down and informed me he worked for Commonwealth Bank, was asking if I banked with them. On a speed date. I shook my head, told him no, at which point he shook his own head and said that was a shame because he could really help me out. I think it was his way of getting me to tick ‘yes’ by his name on my card – the key to him getting my contact details at the end of the night.

“I can help you; offer all sorts of discounts,”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes, overdraft. Home loan.”

“How about erasing all my credit card debt?”


“How about, if I spend $100, you make sure I’m only charged $1?”

“Errr, no,”

This continued for four minutes, until the bell rang. My sarcasm washed right over his sweet little banker’s head and even though I was clearly being a bit of cow I couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for him. He obviously signed up to Fast Impressions – the second organisation in my speed dating investigation – because he works too hard to find a girlfriend. And yet, all he knows how to talk about is his work.

I have to say, I didn’t enjoy last night as much as I enjoyed Saturday night, with Blink Dating. Although The Argyle in the Rocks is a nicer venue with candles and exposed brick walls and comfy couches, the conference room in the shitty hotel was more fun. I think because there weren’t as many people on Saturday; it was friendlier somehow. I was part of a little club, whereas there were loads of people there last night. And with three different speed dating rounds going on at the same time in different areas of the bar, it was confusing. I saw a few guys I wouldn’t have minded talking to, but they never sat down opposite me because they were involved in a different round of dating, elsewhere. Maybe they were older, or younger, who knows, but they were in different categories and I never got to meet them, which was a shame.

Instead I got the banker, and a guy from Venezuela who informed me five seconds after sitting down that he’d been shot at. He was so proud of it too. Apparently it happened when he was growing up and the bullet missed his arm by millimetres. “Have you ever been shot at?” he asked me.

“Strangely, no” I replied. “Not by anything I can talk to you about anyway.”

I have one more event on Friday, in a wine bar in Manly. It involves a lot of effort, getting to Circular Quay, getting the ferry… ugh.  I’m starting to think I might skip it. Hmmm. Nah, I can’t give up. I won’t give up. I mustn’t, not now. For the sake of my article at least, I must continue on my mission!

Maybe my man is in Manly?

Yesterday, I got stood up…

17 Jan

…Which is not something I’d normally admit to, only it’s never happened to me before. Ever. I thought it only happened in movies, to be honest. I thought people only got stood up in shitty teen dramas, like when it rains on someone’s posh frock as they wait by the garden gate, for a prom date that’ll never arrive.  I didn’t think it happened to people like ME in Bondi. Pah. Do you think he was annoyed that I’m no longer a Scorpio??? I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m annoyed about that myself. Perhaps we both feel cheated.

Anyway, I thought telling everyone would make me feel better, but actually, I can’t help but feel a bit sad now, because almost 24 hours later, I still don’t know what the hell happened to the person I was meant to be meeting.  It’s a bit weird. Of course, I’ve been cancelled on in the past, like everyone else. We’ve all had the last minute “Sorry I can’t make it” text or call. In 2011, the age of instant communication, it’s easy to make an excuse. You just type and press send. You don’t even have to make a stuttering, awkward phone call anymore, or bear the wrath of someone who can’t resist shouting, screaming or calling you a flaky dick (eeew, that didn’t come out right, sorry). Which makes leaving someone standing there, waiting for you like an eejit even worse, doesn’t it? Ugh.

I like the thought that the person in question lost their phone, because they seemed quite keen to meet up when we arranged to, earlier in the day. But then, I know they have my email address/facebook/twitter/mySpace/linkedin/blog links/postal code, so I know they could have reached me anyway. Perhaps there was an alien abduction, a freak bolt of lightning, a chemical explosion? All of those would be more acceptable than the notion that I was stood up (gasp) on purpose.

It’s a horrifying thought isn’t it? All kinds of things flood your brain at times like this. What’s wrong with me? What did I do? What did I say? What didn’t I do? What didn’t I say? Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken? Did I make him laugh? Was I too outspoken? (OK, those aren’t my words, but thanks Kasey Chambers, they’re perfect). Should I have worn more lip-gloss last time we met, brushed my teeth one more time? Did I wear the same shoes I wore for our previous encounter by mistake, leaving the impression that I only have one pair? OH GOD, WHAT!?!?!? Just tell me!!!

Luckily I had other friends with me last night, so it wasn’t just me, standing in the rain, sobbing into my corsage and singing a song about loneliness. That would have been AWFUL. But still, a plan was made and a promise was broken. I wonder if perhaps it’s my dating karma, for the odd occasion I may have ignored a bloke’s text when I knew he wanted to see me again, and I didn’t want to see him. It happens to us all, I suppose. But I’ve learned my lesson. If you don’t want to see someone, type your damn “sorry” and don’t see them. But don’t go all Ronan Keating. In the case of an impending stand-up occurrence, trust me: you definitely don’t say it best when you say nothing at all.

(Sob. Here’s some more Kasey. YOU GO GIRL).

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