Tag Archives: BBC

The abandoned piano…

27 Jan

What an amazing sight! I’ve just read that a grand piano, weighing at least 300kg (650lb), has appeared off the coast of Miami. It’s there, right now, sitting on a sandbank like an abandoned instrument from a mermaid’s ball. I like to think it’s from a mermaid’s ball, anyway. It’s far more romantic than picturing it being chucked off the side of a ship by paranoid drug smugglers… although, now that I think of it, has anyone checked inside the keys for cocaine? I don’t think they have…

Anyway, apparently, no one knows how it got there, or why it’s perched so mysteriously in an upright position, in Biscayne Bay.

“The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission say as long as the instrument isn’t a navigational hazard, they won’t remove it,” say the BBC people, which is nice, but it would be even nicer if they set up a 24 hour webcam, so we could watch for mermaids and mermen trying to reclaim their musical treasure by the light of the moon. Wouldn’t it?!

I wonder if a cello will appear next, or a trumpet. Maybe a fishy conductor, with a tailcoat and a tail will swim up and start playing Beethoven for tourists. Maybe he won’t even blink as they flash and snap and proclaim that they’ve never seen a Perch play piano before. Maybe he got sick of the merfolk not appreciating his talents. Maybe he sounded shit underwater…

Ooooh nooooo, WAIT! As I’ve been typing, it’s been announced that the piano was actually put there by a student, making a video college application. It was apparently an old prop from a movie that no one remembers. How BORING. I much preferred the mermaid/fish theory.


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