Why singing children give me the creeps…

3 Mar

A friend of mine sent me a music video to watch last night, and although it was pretty good, it gave me the creeps. I knew it had something to do with the fact that there were children singing at the start of it, but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly WHY these kids freaked me out. It happens a lot, with children’s voices. Mostly girls, if I’m honest. Sometimes, an innocent child can be talking quite normally with her mother, on the train for example, about the merits of crayons or wiping bogeys on windowpanes, when the sound of her voice will snake inside my skull and wrap itself menacingly around a memory of something hazy… something I can’t quite bring to the forefront of my mind. I’ll shudder, feeling afraid, feeling like I’m being ambushed. But I won’t know why.

Well guess what? It suddenly hit me. After all this time, I’ve put the proverbial finger on it. It’s because of this.

THE ST WINIFRED’S SCHOOL CHOIR. AAAAAARRRRGH!!!!

FUCK ME, this is scary!

My parents gave me a cassette tape of this school choir back in the 80s. God knows how they got hold of it. I can’t even imagine how the cassette tape shop got hold of it. Because for that to happen, someone, somewhere, must have invited these chilling little chipmunks into a RECORDING STUDIO, and told them it was OK to sing. And then, someone, somewhere, must have thought it was good, and that they should make more. And before they knew it, the St Winifred’s schoolchildren were no longer content with books and toys and strangling each other in the playground for cookies. They were famous! They were like… like what kids today are afraid to be like, because of Simon Cowell.

Thank fuck for Simon Cowell.

Children should NOT be allowed to do things like this. See how they’ve scarred me?!

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One Response to “Why singing children give me the creeps…”

  1. Jacinta March 3, 2011 at 12:41 am #

    GOLD darling GOLD. I would post it on my facebook page but all those mummy crazies out there will skin me alive

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